Monthly Archives: August 2020

Believing in Yourself is Crucial for Success

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Believe in Yourself!

Reshaping how you see yourself and believing in yourself is crucial for success! We, humans, have a tendency to focus on believing what others say about us instead of believing who we really are. That is how we were programmed, based on our childhood experiences. But, we are not defined by how others see us! And, continuing to believe what others say can hold us back from succeeding in life.

I remember working with one client who was extremely self-sabotaging. She was so unaware of her beauty, inside and out. She was highly-intelligent, beautiful, active, fit, funny, and warm. Yet, she did not recognize any of these qualities. Once she began believing in herself, everything in her life changed for the better! She succeeded at all the things she attempted. This is evidence that believing in yourself is crucial for success. Sometimes we are so off the mark when it comes to how we feel in comparison to how others see us. Most of you wouldn’t treat your worst enemy in the same manner that you treat yourself. Cut yourself some slack and be kinder and gentler.

Are you fairly confident and secure in your own shoes? Do you believe in your abilities and what you have to offer? Or, do you constantly question who you are as a person?  We all have our past, including the experiences that shaped who we are today. If people in your life made hurtful comments over and over, then over time you probably started believing it.  How do you reshape how you see yourself? Are you tired of being overly critical of yourself and your abilities? There is no better time than the present to start believing who you are and what you contribute to those around you. You need to see yourself in a different light and try to replace the negative self-talk with more positive and uplifting dialogue. Make a commitment to yourself to criticize less and accept yourself more.

ACTION STEPS:

1. List your achievements and successes

Make a list of all your achievements. What are you most proud of? Instead of focusing on what you don’t do well, focus on what you have done well. I know that everyone has achieved things in their lives that they should be proud of. Look at this list when feelings of self-doubt begin to arise.

2. Small steps to success

Instead of embarking on large goals that might be difficult to achieve, break them down into smaller tasks. Have a list of smaller goals that you can achieve and feel proud of. By achieving goals you, slowly build up your self-confidence and begin to rely on yourself. Instead of focusing on the 30 pounds you’d love to lose, celebrate two pounds at a time with a pat on your back.

3. Get rid of negative self-talk    

Every time you think negatively about yourself or others, you lower your standards. It is not a very attractive quality to be around someone who is always down on themselves. Start being more aware of your critical voice and replace that voice with positive dialogue. Create an affirmation to “plug” in every time that all-too-familiar voice begins playing in your head.

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5 SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Are you a victim of emotional abuse? There are so many forms of abuse, and emotional abuse is one of them. If you have been subjected to or witnessed abuse as a child, you are more apt to become an adult who will abuse others, until you learn how to break that cycle. More than likely, you will also attract or gravitate toward other abusive people when you become an adult, until you’ve built your self-esteem and have learned how to love yourself. It is then, that you will recognize the characteristics of an abusive person, and won’t allow anyone to abuse you. The healthier you become, the healthier the person will be who you will attract, and therefore, the healthier your relationship will be.

Here are 5 signs of emotional abuse to look out for in a partner:

1.  Does someone degrade you, or put you down in front of others as a result of their own low self-esteem? Do they negate how you feel, or humiliate you?

2.  Is someone controlling your life by belittling you? Are you depending on someone else to make your decisions because you feel you can’t think for yourself, and you go to them?

3. Someone is accusing and blaming you – they never apologize and blame all their problems on others, however, they expect you to apologize for something you didn’t do.

4. Neglect – Is someone giving you the cold shoulder or silent treatment? Or not meeting your needs? They withhold affection or attention from you, and moreover, they don’t do what they say they will do.

5. Enmeshment or codependence – someone makes choices for you or overshares information about their sexual relationship with your father, and as a result, overshares information that is completely violating the boundaries that you’ve set up. And, they do not take into consideration what you want or need.

All of these are signs of emotional abuse, but this does not define who you are!