It is not surprising that most of us set ourselves up for the exact situations we say we don’t want. I have worked with countless clients who struggled with the exact same problems. Some were in a job that was extremely unsatisfying, but they didn’t believe they could make a switch to a more rewarding and high-paying profession. Or, they were in a toxic relationship, but didn’t believe they were worthy of a more enriching and positive relationship. If you don’t believe in yourself and your capabilities, why would anyone else?  You are attracting to yourself exactly what you don’t want.  And, there is a fairly simplistic solution. It all starts with your self-image, and strengthening this has been neglected for some time. As soon as you start standing taller, expecting more for yourself, that is exactly what you will get. We have a tendency to place the blame on others and situations that we feel are out of our control. Well, guess what?  Turn that focus around and look at yourself. How do you talk to yourself?  How do you treat yourself?  What are the standards you hold?  Do you treat yourself with the same respect that you expect from others?  This week, do whatever it takes to lift your self-image a notch or two.

1. Start with the basics

Forget the long-term goal for now. Just focus on boosting your image a bit first. If you want more for your life, such as a more fulfilling job or a more meaningful relationship, you first need to ask yourself some questions. Why am I settling for less? What am I afraid of? Why do I feel I am in this predicament? Once you conquer these questions and face the truth, then you can move forward.

2.  Work on your image

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? Would it be more internal? You wish you were more outgoing or social? Or, is your focus on your appearance?  You wish you were 30 pounds lighter, or you feel you are in desperate need of a new wardrobe? You need to clarify what you would change first before embarking on the “action” part of this process. It is important to do whatever it takes to bring about more confidence. This confidence will allow you to move forward in your life with higher expectations.

3.  Action mode!

Now is the fun part! You need to act in order to create change. Thinking about everything you wish were different is not going to help you out in the long run. You need to write down action steps you can take to propel you forward. Maybe it’s signing up for a toastmaster’s group in order to put you in social situations and practice speaking in front of people. Maybe it is hiring a personal trainer to push you physically. You need to have accountability of some form to keep you motivated and on track, so bring someone on board to partner with you until you succeed.